A Nuclear Spring

Work? Relationships? Oi.

2011-04-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

So, after working 6 months at BFG as a contractor, they decided not to hire me full time. They did hire everyone else I was initially hired with, as well as those that came after me. (It's a pseudo class system, where contractors come on in groups, usually in 2 month periods). So all my peers now have benefits, bus passes, and bonuses. (Alliteration ftw).

The twist? I wasn't fired. So here I am, the only remaining contractor from my class of 10 people. And then an additional 10 people hired from the class after me. Now, that sounds like a small group, but when you see that all of this section is 80 people, thats around 25% of the work force. Anyhoo, its been difficult this past 2 weeks. The announcement was even more difficult when hearing in 1 on 1 meetings with my manager that I was "very likely" to be hired on.

Crushed is a good term. Thinking that I am doing a quality job, only to find that I am to be singled out on not being good enough. I know the two bosses that made the choice, and I will never forgive them. Not on a vendetta level of things, but its absurd to not even let me know AHEAD of time, that I won't be hired on. So then I don't feel even worse when everyone around me gets to go into the office and hear about getting perks.

It's like I'm loosing my grip. However, apparently I never had a grip, so I guess there is solace in that.

As far as relationships, it's been a new issue with the text format of communication. I was raised with IMing folks. She was not. And then, to add to the difficulty of conveying meaning, I am having a stressful time at work. Its a perfect storm of fucking up relationships.

I care about this job, in that it will be a reference for future employment. But as far as anything else, they can jump in front of a train. Never get a job where you have to deal with customers. Or higher-ups. So basically get born into a rich family.

Back

2011-03-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

Sort of, in a sense. Really, I am going to continue posting as if this were some perverse mutation of a journal, attempting to make sense of the things around me.

Moving on. There is nothing more destructive to someone's confidence than making them look stupid. And worse than that, is making them look stupid in front of the customer. I mean, I know that I am no genius when it comes to computers, but that is part of the illusion of the damn job. I need to appear to know what is going on to insure that they feel comfortable doing changes to their precious computer to get shit working. Sure, I might not have that customer again, but know I look dumb in their eyes. All we have are the lies we tell ourselves, and now that particular lie of me being good at my job has dissolved.

Worse yet is you are my quasi-friend, so I want to say something, but I don't know how to say it. You've destroyed a piece of my self confidence, and that really blows. That stuff isn't easy to come by.

Don't care. Not tonight.

2010-07-16T03:03:00.000-07:00

I just need to vent. If you aren't in the mood, that's fine. Just move along.

Preface: Decided (unwisely so) to view ex girlfriend's profile page, specifically pictures. And such. Whatever. If Facebook isn't for stalking, then I don't know what its for. Anyhoo. Here I am looking at 650 picture of her life, 1/4 were close to my existence with her.

*So, looking at these flashes of time held in freeze forever-more, I see why we didn't work. I know hwy we aren't together. I see the difference in our personalities through our Facebooks (as superficial as it seems). I see her smiling, constantly posing. In mine, I see my usual forced smile. In candid situations turned photo opp. Sure, her's might be forced. But she puts up 6x as many pictures as I do. I exist on the frige of the society. She flourishes in the center. This is seen in the pictures. I'm sure it also had to do with attractiveness in reality and photo, but I see that some people avoid the camera, where others are pulled to it, and others it to them. She is an 'it to them'. Cameras flock to her. She is photogenic in every sense of the word. I've never seen her unattractive. Whatever that means. She exists in front of the camera. I exist watching the group. I've steer clear of groups. Strangers. Cameras. If I know I'm being photographed, I feel I won't look sincere in the picture. I'm on the outside looking in. She's on the inside posing for the picture. Part of me wishes we were more similar, because we once felt such a connection.

I know there is meaning behind these picture. Somewhere, hidden in the deep of the artificial poses and funny faces.
She has a new beau. He seems dorky and intelligent, to be stereotypical. Probably not what she initially saw in me. She did see it, but not when we met. She saw me as the 'rebel'. How I got that reputation, I wish I knew. Then I could have maintained it.
She always had this thing about race. She was ethnic. I was not. She had to preserve her culture. I had no culture to preserve. I needed to better myself to become a worldly person, and learn from her ways. We were opposite. And she didn't let me forget that. I over-exaggerate, but probably not by that much.

I look back and wonder what might have happened. I never meant to break up with her. It was a power play. I wanted to feel like I meant something to her. Like I was worth her admiration. But I wasn't. I gambled one time too many. And she was gone. Almost on to the next guy. At the young age of 22-ish, I see this as without a doubt, the most difficult time of my life. Love does that to you. I learned a lot about myself dealing with her, and the lack of her.

I do miss her. I miss the similarities that brought that initial connection. I miss having her, the way she doted over me, and looked over me. But as I think of these romanticized things, I realize that she was always trying merely to please me, and wasn't doing for any other reason, and that she wanted me to be different form who I (think I) am. It a difficult situation. I wonder if she was ever as haunted by the relationship as I am. I truly doubt it. She was never one to allow anything thing to mark her. But that fact never stops me from thinking. The 'what-ifs' really get to me some nights.

There is always more, but I just can't bring myself to it right now.

*Please note, all comments come in retrospect, and have no bearing on the time when they were experienced.

Entropy

2010-06-18T19:24:00.000-07:00

I sit here in an apartment that within a month, I will likely never sit in again. I look at a view that has remain unchanged for that stretch. The skyline has become a friendly reminder. A reminder of the possibilities of moving to the bigger and better. Even the view within the apartment has remained similar. The same couches, TV, and window coverings. The same couches I have sat on, sparingly, for the last....2 years? Roughly. The same TV I have played many an hour of Xbox on. The windows that prevent video games on a sunny day between the hours of 5 and 7 pm. Excellent memories.
I've always viewed this place as a refuge in the storm, and it has been, quite literally once or twice. It's my vacation home, filled with good conversation and friends.
When I first met the place, I was wearing a red Hawaiian shirt, and sort of came up on a whim. I was sitting in B'lingham lonely, and decided to text some fun people I had met during Sasquatch. And then next thing I am walking up hill in the summer heat, into the apartment. Its a house to me, all technicalities aside. A clean white. The dinning chairs and table. The couch. The walls, all a pretty reflective white. I love this place, in a goal-oriented sense. I love the people in it. They have impacted me in a way I couldn't have imagined.
I will miss this place.

Francis and the Lights

2010-06-07T20:46:00.000-07:00

I only have one song of theirs, 'Darling, it's Alright'. It has a distinct 80's sound reminiscent of Huey Lewis and the News. I dig. I have an evening to myself. Not that this is particularly special, but still, it's nice. Both my roommates have gone to bed early, and I have the living room to myself. Which will be fine until it gets dark outside and I start to feel lonely. But that is mostly the lack of sleep/The Fear talking.
It's weird to think about a day that you have known was coming, but never quite had the view point of it. Until now, now that you're close enough. You look forward to it. You are afraid of it. You want it to happen, you want it in your past, you want it perpetually in your future.
Those moments.
What to do?
Well, the only thing you can do. Raise your head up to meet the moment head-on. Stare into the future, the abyss, until it stares back. Then make the fucker blink.

The Paper in Question

2010-06-05T16:19:00.000-07:00

For once I wish it was really nasty outside so it would be a more antiquate mood setting for writing a 15 page paper of what-have-you. Instead I will listen to N.I.N. and pretend with the shades drawn. I had this crazy epiphany the other day. There I was looking out the window while playing video games, and I see this Uhaul trailer. Then I realized that I too will be leaving soon. I mean, not leaving. Just relocating. But this time, I won't have a school to tie me down to an area. And as freeing as that sounds, it is equally ominous. Oh me and my fear of change, and appeal for the dramatic.
Anyways, finished Red Dead Redemption. Twas awesome. Finished all 4 seasons of Dexter. Twas awesome. Almost done with spring quarter. Twill be awesome. And Drunk History is amazing.

Late Night

2010-06-02T03:07:00.000-07:00

Its raining outside. Not particularly hard, like it was earlier, but enough to hear it with the window open. I really do like the rain, despite complaining when my shoes get all wet. That's partially why I moved over to the west side of the state. The other being that my girlfriend at the time was over here, and really I wanted to go to Dub Dub U. Or atleast it was better than EWU or WSU in my mind.
That girlfriend and I were actually 'over' when I finally got an apartment in Bellingham. I just hadn't realized it yet. Difficult times ensued, making me question my presence on the wetter half of the state (dirrrty). I had a heart to heart with my dad that I really don't remember the specifics, but it made me feel better. And now here I am over 2 years later, able to talk about the experience in some clarity. Reviewing one's past is always an interesting voyage.
I've been listening to the soundtrack of the ShowTime series Dexter and it sets my late night/all night mood quite well. Daniel Licht does a great job on the mood setting.
While on the topic of Dexter I would like to mention what an engaging show it is. I've really been sucked into Dexter's world. I imagine this is how many people feel with their TV shows, but having watched almost all 4 seasons of the show in rapid succession, I seem to have that feeling on crack.

I'm pulling an all-nighter this evening because I can. I've been feeling better these past few hours, so I've decided to indulge in a binge of fun and work. And plus it's nice to sit in a house you know has people sleeping in it. I don't know why. I think Benjamin Button mentions something in his Curious Case about it.
Here is it: "Some nights, I'd have to sleep alone. I didn't mind, I would listen to the house breathin'. All those people sleepin'. I felt... safe."
Well put, good sir. Well put.

Winging it

2010-05-31T21:12:00.000-07:00

This speaks to me.

Lack there of

2010-05-27T01:54:00.000-07:00

So, long time no blog. It has been hectic here in Bellingham these last few weeks. Lots of trying to put off projects to the last minute to do a hurried job. Not to mention putting off getting various paper work filled out and such. Really, its terrible. TRRBL. I dislike very much the whole idea of being responsible. It really chaps my ass.
This brings me to a sweeping generalization: I feel that as a generation, my age group is not prepared to handle what the future holds, most specifically, the whole banking and financial process. We have a system that was designed to allow our parents to buy what they couldn't afford, and now the system is perfecting itself and aiming itself at the next generation. I don't mean to complain, I know that I should have paid more attention before signing. Its just something that now I, and many other college students, have to deal with.
To stick with my mental process, Red Dead Redemption from Rockstar Games is as good as they say it is. To break it down, its GTA with a cowboy theme. But everything seems improved. More ambient missions, more characters, more diverse map. Its great. Its really something definitely worth renting. And the soundtrack = superb. A particularly excellent song from the soundtrack is 'Far Away' by Jose Gonzalez. Just listen to it. You'll understand.
Back to cliche world, but the future is just as strange as ever. It holds promise, yes. But man, sometimes it just comes at you a lot faster than you expected.

Sunshine

2010-04-08T19:40:00.000-07:00

Directed by Danny Boyle in 2007. Scored by John Murphy. I just watched this movie, after wanting to originally see it back when it released. I'm a sucked for 'Man vs. Outer Space' movies. And sci-fi in general. And then I watched this one, and it was so powerful. And I don't mean epic. Sure, some of the music fills you up and lifts you, but its just powerful. The whole film, so under-rated, but so good.

Beware: Alchohol and Sarah McLachlan

2010-04-08T00:14:00.000-07:00

So, here I am sitting after drinking with friends. It was a great evening. I really am appreciative of those few people that I have come into contact with. And I don't mean that everyone I make small talk with I end up hanging out with. Seriously, I am so happy to have this most recent opportunity to hang out and be cool. And maybe talk sex for a moment. It was great. All of it.
But as you can tell by the first bit of the post, you can see that I am trying to get to some point. Today happens to be my ex's birthday. I wouldn't have realized this had not a mutual friend (not really) on Facebook made it her status. It was sort of forced upon me, in my defense. I didn't really think about it at all. Then I came home, and saw something that made me want to see her facebook page. Probably something that had nothing to do with her birthday, but it still peaked my interest. So I checked her page.
At least 50 birthday responses. Which is crazy huge. It just sorta blew my mind. Thinking about it a moment after, I realize that is about 10% of her friends, but still. I guess part of me just wishes that I had a large amount of people in my life that wished me happy birthday.

Now, if you made it through that first-half, please hang on, clearer skies are ahead. Thinking about it now, I see that the few people in my life tend to be genuine, or at least act that way toward me. I don't care which is which. I just appreciate those people in my life that notice me as much as I notice them. I have this amazing girlfriend, that I really wish was around more. She makes me so happy, and its wonderful. I have this great collection of friends that make my life more colorful. I have friends in Seattle that enlighten me of what it's like to be a non-Academian. I have friends in Cheney, WA that remind me about how nice it is to have someone appreciate you. I have friends two blocks down that make me see how fun a 40oz and a Wii can be. I really appreciate my friends, even if I don't show it enough as I should. I love you all.

Not Really About Me

2010-03-31T18:36:00.000-07:00

It seems like I haven't blogged in a while. Maybe that's true. You would think I would blog more given more time, but instead I only seem to blog when I have other things to do. Which I imagine this says alot about my personality, but I really don't want to go into that or care.
Today I picked up a used copy of House of Leaves. This is a book that one friend holds in very high regards. I have also heard from people, far cooler than myself, that this is the "one book that REALLY scared me". And, I heard from a very influential teacher/friend that it was quite good. So, all things are going for it, minus the silly girl at the bus stop that was mocking the post-modern style for wasting paper. I wanted to defend it, but instead just listened, then decided that she had no idea what she was talking about.
This whole book thing got me thinking about my one-time mentor, so I tried emailing him. I have written to him twice so far, without answer. I do not know if my email is being blocked in his spam folder, if he has changed emails, or is avoid me entirely. I send emails anyways. I don't really write to people. I don't even really call people. I see them, or I don't. I'm sure there is a huge vault of psychological truth lying in these actions, but again, I fail at having the motivation to it (the vault). Anyhoo.
Classes have started, and again I am off to worlds that at first seem entertaining. We will see how that fairs.

Exhausted

2010-03-12T09:57:00.000-08:00

I have no one to talk to right now, so instead I will attempt to blog the feelings out. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
So, my sister is slowly loosing memory. Not just short term, but long term too. Doesn't remember who people are, what she was doing. Nada. Scary as fuck. Honestly. I really don't know what to do. Then, it's finals week/dead week. So I'm currently riding a massive caffine binge case of the jitters, and tired. And realize that I'm not even close to done. I feel exhausted emotionally, mentally, and in a few hours I imagine, physically too. I just want my sister to be ok. Honest to God. And you know what? If the doctor says he can't find anything wrong, TELL HIM TO LOOK HARDER.

Scary

2010-03-11T17:13:00.000-08:00

So, long story short, my sister hit her head. Hard. So hard, everyone thought it was a concussion. Then it wasn't. Then it was. Then it was sprained muscles. Well, whatever it is, I get a call from my sister in tears because she doesn't remember who I am. A few things here and there, but for the most part she doesn't remember me. Think about that. All of our past experiences are all gone. I am told that this is a temporary state, thank Hygeia/God/Nodens. This was the first time in my life I have ever been so sad. Or so I think. Maybe when my grandma died. But that was semi-expected. This? Not so much. Shes only 15. She really is a wonderful person. I can't express how much I love her, and miss her. With this whole experience, I just want to go home and hug her and tell her how important she is to me.

Random Thoughts

2010-03-11T09:03:00.000-08:00

Katamari Demacy is creepy similar to the movie Slither.

I tend to sniff loudly to alert people of my presence.

I own a machete. You know, for zombie outbreaks.

I am strangely aware of my ever dropping number of "friends" on Facebook.

Where does social tolerance end and pariah begin?

My room is filled with 2/3 empty bottles of soda because that's all I wanted at the time.

Seeing my tattoo after forgetting about it makes me happy.

Please hang up the phone and

2010-03-09T01:21:00.000-08:00

I find it to be so difficult to convey feelings in a non-relationship way sometime. If that comment shot up some red flags, don't worry, you aren't the only one. It's just, I want to express my gratitude for friendship to a fellow person, and I flop at getting across how much I appreciate them. Perhaps to some girl in my film class that talks to me and listens. I want to say "Hey, you're awesome, come have a beer, even though we are both seeing other people, and we aren't really friends outside of class!" But I feel that would be very long-winded, and hard to make not awkward. I just can't seem to convey to my friends how much they mean to me, and I know that is why I have so few. That, and the fact that I tend to get this weird quasi-blinders on that once a person isn't in my immediate life, I don't forget about them, but they tend to fade into the background. Basically I'm a terrible person. But I try.

Harmony Requires Sacrifice

2010-02-26T23:49:00.000-08:00

Here I am, taking a weekend to drive across the state. Not to say I won't enjoy it. But there are moments, where I just can't wrap my head around some idea of being a good son. I mean, sure, every parent has certain expectations, but I think that my parents didn't expect anything from me. So therefor, I am a success. Which is really more of a default. I mean, looking at my sister as a freshman in high school, I see her as having exponentially more potential than I. Not to say I feel worthless. Far from it. I see my worth as novelty and sincerity, with a hint of the absurd. But she seems like she might one day, I don't know, cure cancer or create a just system of law.

However, I feel that once we start attaching worth to various traits, it's a weird way to view things. How much is this relationship worth? How much are my friends worth? How much are we worth to society? Quite frankly, I don't want to know. And I don't thing we should know. Imagine people walking around knowing they are worth nothing. TRRBL.

I would like to think you really can't figure out worth until the moment of worth. Sure, that kid who sits in the back of the room and doesn't talk seems like a waste, but wait until he makes that insightful comment. Or the moment when the seemingly ridiculously annoying kid gets a slot on a radio talk show, etc. Insert your own example here.

And don't even get me started on what it means to be "worth" something to society. Stupid society. And its "values". and "quotation marks".

Future Perfect?

2010-02-25T17:02:00.000-08:00

I have been forcibly confronted more and more with the prospect of being a non-student. It is weird to look out on the vast horizon that is my future, and many landmarks are missing. I thought that once I graduated I could go bother my pals in Seattle more. But by the time I'm done, they are already off doing their thing.
I can't help but be nostalgic, sitting here listening to my Kung Fu Panda soundtrack. Not that it has a direct connection, but the melodies make me think of the things that were.
I've been a student my entire life. And I don't just mean in the cliche "You are always learning" bologna. I mean attending class and such. It's nuts to be on the outside of that. To be this....this 'adult' thing that everyone else talks about being.
I just really don't know what to expect.

Ode to Medea

2010-02-23T22:24:00.000-08:00

At long last, I am finally able to articulate this seemingly irrational hate for all things her. It took me running into her annoying high school friend on campus that I was able to envision this inner tension. I hate that I gave so much, and you acknowledged it so little. I know I shouldn't be bitter, and I'm not. Or at least, I try not to be. But some moments, I get so caught up in myself, that I fall back into old habits.

Damn Paper

2010-02-11T02:23:00.000-08:00

I have done nothing (mentally) but been plotting the eventual firing of a professor I am taking. 4 credits, and 300 level, and he wants 5-6 hours a week of our time, and ridiculous 3 ridiculous 12 page papers. With copious amounts of specific references to everything we have been watching. It sounds, from an outside perspective, that the paper would write itself. But you would be wrong. And really, I have other classes to be putting off. Honestly, I won't be pleased until his head resides on a pike in the parking lot of my apartment building.

.08

2010-02-09T23:07:00.000-08:00

After watching Venture Bros, I have come to the realization that most cartoons that we watch as children are NOT funny. Not to say that there are some exceptions, but for the most part, they are in-fact adventure oriented. A character leaves town, and the episode begins. They do not alter to humor. They instead follow the idea keeping a 3rd grader's attention span. Nothing against any old TV show. Aahhh! Real Monsters. Kudos. Legends of the Hidden/Forbidden Temple. Good work. Angry Beavers, you still make me laugh. As a community of people who have grown up with cartoons, we need to realize that cartoons, as we knew them, were not intended to make us laugh as adults, but to make us watch as children.

In short: Angry Beavers rule. Don't download an entire seaon of a cartoon untill you know what you are getting into.

Change

2010-02-08T22:01:00.000-08:00

Preface: This poem is not intentionally about any political party.

Change wasn't what I told it was. As I child I saw change as this force, this entity that strode through life usurping governments, and making people fall in love. It's what I feared when the Beatles sang about "Love has a nasty habit, Of disappearing overnight".
As I child, I didn't notice change because it didn't register. I didn't see things around me shifting from new to old. The gradual shifts from green to red to blue to orange. Change was a new television show advertised. What happened to the old shows? "What old shows?" I asked.
Most recently I have come to this conclusion that Change is the entropic force on life. It happens while we sleep, with freedom fighters preforming an act to gain standing in world politics. The change happens while we eat breakfast, with the Supreme Court allowing corporations to openly sponsor candidates. Change is not this fantasy idea that as children. These major shifts. It is the little that constantly moves. The grains of sand that each stacks upon the next. It is the water/pressure acting on the Earth that slowly makes (insert geologic phenomena here). Every second that ticks past, Change has happened. The inevitable. The idea that the person that started writing this post no longer exists, and that someone mildly new is replacing him. Like a computer system, with infinite updates leading to the eventual hive-mind of laptops and Xboxs everywhere.

A short recap: Change is not what we as children thought it was, but is none-the-less inevitable. And beware the Xbox uprising.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programing.

A new direction? Or just a blip in the old direction?

2010-02-08T21:49:00.000-08:00

Anyhoo, this evening, I went with my roommate to an author talking about his book. I didn't know this author before, nor do I feel too inclined to read his book after. However, he did emphasize the idea that practicing, and mimicking, are important steps of the writing process. In lieu of his surprisingly inspirational presentation, I will try my hand at writing. I make no promises on things being totally false, or totally true, or even in-between the two opposites. I can only promise that I will write when I can, and about whatever I see fit.
Thus ends my mission statement, v.2

Really?

2009-10-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

Yrly. I have no real idea on how to make my blog look cool. Or even friendly. But that might just be a strange perpetuation of myself on the internet. Kinda unfriendly/weird if you don't know me. And sometimes even when you do.
A recent renovation of a blog has made me reconsider what I am doing with my little piece of the internet. I don't know if I will change anything, or continue using this as a weird substitute for a journal. Oh pitiful humans and their technological crutches, propping ourselves up to a social life we long for.

Long time no post

2009-10-26T01:32:00.000-07:00

Here I sit/lean, on my mattress of a bed, in a room that has been vacant for the last 4 days, loosing the heat I had been storing in my piles of dirty clothes and love making. Here I am in the wee hours of the morning, knowing that I am alone in the apartment, as far as thought-production goes. Here I am, thinking.

Overload

2009-08-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

So, as many of you might be aware of, I have been living and working up on Mt. Rainier. It was great. At first. Now the lack of cell service, internet, and positive interactions is getting to me. So on any and all days off I retreat from the mount, and head for civilization, and all its wonders. I arrive to find internet, filled with tweets, blogs, and pictures of events long passed. Its crazy really, to instead of having a constant flow of information to make it come once or twice every week.

This leads me to my main point. HOLY FUCK! WoW: Cataclysm!

I just recently deleted the 16 GB of files it took to run the almost up to date WoW off my computer, and here I am drooling over the two new races and the possibilities of a Troll Druid. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, consider yourself lucky). I know that the expansion isn't probably until....oh, 2010/2011, but I can not wait. I have yearned to be a Goblin since the game was first released. Honestly, ask my pal Thibodeau.

Anyways, I miss society, with its absurd tweets, slightly meaningful blogs, and over promoted activities. Interwebz, come back to meh!

A weekend!

2009-07-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

So, Here I sit borrowing internet in the parking lot of my employer's out-of-park HQ. Good stuff. And better yet, I am actually getting paychecks that make it almost working up on a mountain away from some of the things I enjoy most. And to say this for the millionth time, I miss you all. I wish you would come see me. Just mention my name, and I can be found.

I feel that being a cashier/food service job is something everyone should work. Just once. So then you can see how dumb your questions can be, how appreciated your genuine smiles and tips are, and to see how necessary it is for a college education.

Back....Form Outer Space....

2009-07-18T20:14:00.000-07:00

And I just walked in here to lyric lyric lyric. I've decided that I do not want to be a house keeper when I grow up, or a barista. And also, if ever feel inclined to be an ass to a cashier, don't. Chances are they are mere moments away from punching you in the neck. Just a thought. And on a side note, if I ever get a chance to blackmail someone for haneous amounts of money, I will take full advantage of the opportunity given to me.

And I miss my friends and videogames.

CIVILIZATION!

2009-06-23T21:33:00.001-07:00

Here I am! For my first weekend off the mountain, I am enjoying homemade music, speed scrabble, and reviewing posts on Kotaku. So much videogame news! New Fallout expansions! WTF! And to top it off, Flogging Molly will be in Spokane in September! ROAD TRIP! If you want in, let me know. Now off to a walk and maybe some ice cream.

Empty Walls

2009-06-08T10:57:00.000-07:00

Depressing, I know. Here I am, sitting at my laptop with my newly minimalized room. Yes, minimalized is a word. Today. Anyhoo. Here I sit gazing at empty wall space, with all my trinkets and posters put away. Change.

And on another note, Dick Cheney is a douche. Duh.

OH! And Weezer doing a cover of Lady GaGa and MGMT is amazing.

Moving!

2009-06-05T00:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, a simply titled post at it's finest. Here I sit in my apartment that I have been living in for the last year and a half. And here I am, almost a year.5 to the day, getting ready to move out. Crazy. I mean, its not like I am having this drastic change. But things grow on you. As much as I am ready to leave this apartment, I will miss it. Many way points in my young life have been surveyed through this room. Food for thought indeed.

Hot Pavement

2009-05-27T20:23:00.000-07:00

That is what I am excited for. Honestly. Walking around on the warm ground during the summer is the best.
And speaking of the summer, I am up on Rainier. For sure. No lies. And everyone should come see me. Or else I will come see you. You have been warned.

DFW

2009-05-26T13:21:00.000-07:00

My lady friend got me Oblivion. And to top it off, she calls my good friend to hep pick it out. Some days just kick ass.

Las Vegas

2009-05-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how random pictures show up on facebook? And then there they are, taunting you on your mini-feed. What are you going to do about it? Look at them. Duh. So here you are, browsing through photos, wondering how the hell people can afford to go stay in Vegas for a week in an economic crisis. wtf. And of course, then you start the blame game of "Why aren't I spending vacations in Vegas?..." First off, you don't have vacations. Your a student. "But so are they!" Well, the proably manage their time better and have parents that love them and pay for your college. "Damn. Touche."
In other news, have mixed feelings for the summer. For those that don't know, I am 95% likely to spend it as a housekeeper at Paradise Lodge on Mt. Rainier. Whats the hang up? Well, originally I was spending this month away from friends, internet, and cell service with my girlfriend. But she got a better job else where. So where does that leave me? A minimum wage exile condemned to clean up after....whatever. But it is a job, which many don't have. So that's good. To be honest thou, I can barely clean-up after myself, let alone anyone else.

Landslide

2009-05-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

Once you get behind in homework, its hard to catch up. I say this knowing full well that I am horrible, at doing things on time. And I don't mean that in a "oh compliment me on my productivity" way. I should have read Orlando Furioso for 7 hours yesterday, and then 7 more today. Instead? Fallout 3. Excellent new expansion btw. Totally worth the 10 dollars. But I digress.
I tried taking an hour nap around midnight to renew my mind. That failed. Miserably. Then I decided to get up early. Carpe Diem! Again, productivity fail. To find a cliche for the situation, it never rains, but it pours. Or it never raids, but it poors. I don't know what it means, but I strangely feel akin to it.

Sabbath

2009-04-26T11:17:00.000-07:00

A lazy Sunday, listening to Mark Knopfler, wearing my favorite Hawaiian shirt. Life is good.

To Alchoholic Gamers everywhere

2009-04-25T17:11:00.001-07:00

In case gamers ever felt left tout of having a trendy/awesome/gross cocktail, here is the article for them!
http://www.oxm.co.uk/article.php?id=9806
All hail Kotaku.

In words of my pal Keith, METABLOGGING!

2009-04-25T00:46:00.000-07:00

So. I find that most blogs, unlike my last one, are distilled down to a few lines of massive potency. Like a shot of hard alcohol, it hits you strong and leaves it's impression long after its gone. Those people and their cleverness. Bah! All I need it an excuse to drink.

Yahoo! is a poor choice for "breaking news"...

2009-04-24T16:20:00.001-07:00

And I'm not joking. Here I am, just looking for a quick look into the world on news and what pops up? That Susan Boyle from Britian's got Talent or whatever. And thats not even on the entertainment tab. WTF. Any news about....you know...something important? Like maybe large issues that Obama is facing in the post-100 days as president? Or something about the economy? Maybe the craigslist killer?* These are just other things that might be a little bit more important than some-singer-that-no-one-has-ever-heard-before-until-now. Just like every other new artist. Bah. Enough of my rant of Yahoo! I stick with the Onion personally.

Moving on, here I am, getting ready to make a formal request for an extension of a deadline. And if I can prove that I was indeed screwed by something out of my control, with documentation, they just might grant me a reprisal. Maybe reprisal is the wrong word, but whatever. Fact of the matter is I have no idea how to go about doing this. Do I play the victim? Who do I villianize? Is being vague a good thing? All questions that I need to answer, as my mother told me this morning, before I eat dinner. Thats a lot of ground to cover on a mind only being fuled by a mocha slushie.

And for a final note, college classes should not occur in spring or summer, but only in winter and fall. You know I'm right.

*Apparently he was described as "All American". (Insert your anti-American political remark here)

When a mommy blog and a daddy blog love each other very much...

2009-04-22T17:45:00.000-07:00

Greetings Interweb!
Here I am, doing my best to be a part of the whole 21st century. Sure, I may have homework to do, but something as trivial as linguistics will have to step aside (for a moment at least) while I make personal history. My first blog. And as much as I want to end that line with an exclimation point, I resist as I know that in this day and age, !,?, and all other manner of symbols are thrown around like nothing. For better or for worse? I haven't a clue, but I digress.
Q&A:
Why am I blogging? In words of a close friend, why not? Also, some people that I respect very much blog, so I figured I could give it a go too.
WTF is 'a nuclear spring'? I don't know. Is it the season after a nuclear winter? Is it a water source filled with radiation? Is it a device sold by ACME? Who knows...
Who are you? Whom ever I want to be.