Not Really About Me

It seems like I haven't blogged in a while. Maybe that's true. You would think I would blog more given more time, but instead I only seem to blog when I have other things to do. Which I imagine this says alot about my personality, but I really don't want to go into that or care.
Today I picked up a used copy of House of Leaves. This is a book that one friend holds in very high regards. I have also heard from people, far cooler than myself, that this is the "one book that REALLY scared me". And, I heard from a very influential teacher/friend that it was quite good. So, all things are going for it, minus the silly girl at the bus stop that was mocking the post-modern style for wasting paper. I wanted to defend it, but instead just listened, then decided that she had no idea what she was talking about.
This whole book thing got me thinking about my one-time mentor, so I tried emailing him. I have written to him twice so far, without answer. I do not know if my email is being blocked in his spam folder, if he has changed emails, or is avoid me entirely. I send emails anyways. I don't really write to people. I don't even really call people. I see them, or I don't. I'm sure there is a huge vault of psychological truth lying in these actions, but again, I fail at having the motivation to it (the vault). Anyhoo.
Classes have started, and again I am off to worlds that at first seem entertaining. We will see how that fairs.

Exhausted

I have no one to talk to right now, so instead I will attempt to blog the feelings out. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
So, my sister is slowly loosing memory. Not just short term, but long term too. Doesn't remember who people are, what she was doing. Nada. Scary as fuck. Honestly. I really don't know what to do. Then, it's finals week/dead week. So I'm currently riding a massive caffine binge case of the jitters, and tired. And realize that I'm not even close to done. I feel exhausted emotionally, mentally, and in a few hours I imagine, physically too. I just want my sister to be ok. Honest to God. And you know what? If the doctor says he can't find anything wrong, TELL HIM TO LOOK HARDER.

Scary

So, long story short, my sister hit her head. Hard. So hard, everyone thought it was a concussion. Then it wasn't. Then it was. Then it was sprained muscles. Well, whatever it is, I get a call from my sister in tears because she doesn't remember who I am. A few things here and there, but for the most part she doesn't remember me. Think about that. All of our past experiences are all gone. I am told that this is a temporary state, thank Hygeia/God/Nodens. This was the first time in my life I have ever been so sad. Or so I think. Maybe when my grandma died. But that was semi-expected. This? Not so much. Shes only 15. She really is a wonderful person. I can't express how much I love her, and miss her. With this whole experience, I just want to go home and hug her and tell her how important she is to me.

Random Thoughts

Katamari Demacy is creepy similar to the movie Slither.

I tend to sniff loudly to alert people of my presence.

I own a machete. You know, for zombie outbreaks.

I am strangely aware of my ever dropping number of "friends" on Facebook.

Where does social tolerance end and pariah begin?

My room is filled with 2/3 empty bottles of soda because that's all I wanted at the time.

Seeing my tattoo after forgetting about it makes me happy.

Please hang up the phone and

I find it to be so difficult to convey feelings in a non-relationship way sometime. If that comment shot up some red flags, don't worry, you aren't the only one. It's just, I want to express my gratitude for friendship to a fellow person, and I flop at getting across how much I appreciate them. Perhaps to some girl in my film class that talks to me and listens. I want to say "Hey, you're awesome, come have a beer, even though we are both seeing other people, and we aren't really friends outside of class!" But I feel that would be very long-winded, and hard to make not awkward. I just can't seem to convey to my friends how much they mean to me, and I know that is why I have so few. That, and the fact that I tend to get this weird quasi-blinders on that once a person isn't in my immediate life, I don't forget about them, but they tend to fade into the background. Basically I'm a terrible person. But I try.